I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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