Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
