No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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