If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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