i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
