i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
