Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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