what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
