eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
