I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
