Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
we should paint friendship bongs
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
