I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
