It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
