Can Purell be used as lube?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
