Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
