Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need to stop coming to work sober
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
