He asked to "fluff my boner.."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
