i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
