So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
