and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
