Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
