Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
