I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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