you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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