Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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