Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
