...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
