Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
