This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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