If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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