The beer is more important than you right now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
