a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
