You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
