Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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