come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
