i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
false alarm. still invincible.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
