I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
