He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
