last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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