i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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