I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
