My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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