should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
