office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
