I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
