Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
