all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
