Got a toothbrush?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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