He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
