He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
